An ode to the Scottish patriot

I was kind of give the idea for this when I saw friends of mine on Facebook joining the group "I AM SCOTTISH, NOT BRITISH".

For about as long as I've had... opinions of my own... if you like, I can always remember finding patriots particularly amusing. My mother's friend, Margot, is one of the types that insists upon being Scottish and not British. And like many others, she does not forget the battle 700 odd years back that we won against the 'bloody English basturds'. When my mother and I went for our citizenship ceremony, Margot started an argument with one of the officials. Something about swearing allegiance to the crown. I forget what. She never fails to amuse me. Another fine opportunity for the Scots to show their dedication to the cause is for ceilidhs and school dances and weddings. God, I can't stand kilts. Suits > kilts.

And then there are the fake American-Scottish, oh how I love them so. I love when they visit Scotland searching for their ancestors and they get all patriotic about their Scottish roots. They buy the cheesy kilts from up in "Edinborough" and wear them with big hiking boots and socks and a polo shirt. I get buses everywhere and they always stop and talk to you, loudly (essentially to the whole bus), about what they're doing and how nice Melrose Abbey is and how they visited "How-ick". I would love to see them visit and experience Burns night. Whenever we have American couchsurfers, I take great pleasure in telling them about the little haggi running about the fields with their two legs longer on one side so they can only run one way round the hills (Quick tip: to catch a haggis, tie a carrot to a piece of string and tie the string to a pole. Let the haggis chase the carrot for a bit, then catch the wee devil.)


So, since its Burns night coming up, let me know how you 'be patriotic' (Scottish or otherwise).